I was the Tar Baby, the black and ugly girl that people readily used and berated for pleasure.
I was so confused as a child.
How could I be God's Child, perfectly made but my own people said that I looked like a mistake, a burnt piece of bread that God actually forsaken..
My frustration with society, with hw my own people saw me, set me on a journey to find out what my value actually was.
I stumbled.
Tried to act and look like a white girl. Bleached my skin and straightened my hair to "soften" my manly looking features..
Tried and tired and tired, but my self esteem never elevated because I did all those things for the validation I assumed other people could give me..
And I decided to divest. To arrest my emotional need for approval because quite frankly, I was tired of worrying about the way I looked. I was tired of chasing the love of men. I was tired of pretending that people weren't take emotional OR financial advantage of me..
I COME FIRST ALWAYS!! And Now I am fulfilled and emotionally content with who I am!